Peace and Joy

A huge thanks to everyone for my birthday wishes and presents! I had a great time riding my motorcycle for the first time in 5 years. I forgot how relaxing it was to go on vaca with my dad and do nothing. We actually made it all the way out to Branson, MO from Florida.
It was a long hike and we hit rain a few times, but well worth it! We saw a show while there - you can’t go to Branson and NOT take in a show, lol. Since everyone I ride with is a bit older we took in the Liverpool Legends show, a tribute to the Beatles. It was fantastic! I personally am not a huge fan of them, but I do enjoy their music and the tribute to them was well done as the Liverpool Legends played their music and imitated them quite remarkably. Next time I hope to see the Tillis’ or some other country act since that is more my style.

I also want to express my thanks to the SHIMMER fans for their turnout in Berwyn! I must admit that I really was not in the mood to be there since I had to cut my vaca short to make it, but the fans made it all worthwhile as usual. I was even able to relax a little at dinner and not have to feel rushed since I was not working on Sunday.
Lately, it seems all I ever have time for is to run in and do the show then run out to catch a flight to get back to work, so this time it was a little more enjoyable, sitting at dinner and chatting with Alexa, Daffney, Phil and Cindy Rogers.
I also able to mingle with our loyal supporters and meet the incredibly talented artist who draws pics of all of us!

As we gear up for the holiday season, please everyone remember to be careful-don’t drink and drive, be kind to those out shopping, we are all just trying to get through the season with as much sanity as the retail market will allow us to. If you are traveling, remember flight crews are working so you can have a holiday with family and friends, so when you are delayed due to weather or holiday traffic, don’t take your frustrations out on them, as they do not get to spend their holiday at home with loved ones.

Happy Halloween!!!

Hello and welcome to another month! Hard to believe that this year is almost over!!! Halloween is fast approaching and soon Thanksgiving and Christmas! But more important MY BIRTHDAY!!! Yes, fans that's right-October 7th is just around the corner and I am shamelessly soliciting presents! Just look above at my wish list if you need ideas. I love presents, money or both if you are feeling extremely generous ;-)

October is set to be a great month! I am set to return to the Cincinatti area for my real job, I am going on my first motorcycle vacation since having knee surgery in 2001 and I am only scheduled to work about 11 days this month due to vacation time, and, oh yeh!, my good friend and sometimes arch enemy, Brandi Wine is planning a trip to Florida for Halloween! So hopefully she and I will get to hang out and possibly do a video or two (if Lexie and I can talk her into it, lol). But whether I get her back in the ring or not I am simply looking forward to seeing her as, she is one of the greatest girls I have met in the biz.

On another note, I would like to congratulate Nikki Roxx on her TNA appearances. I hope they realize what treasure and talent they have in her and keep her for a long while, but if not, may WWE take notice and do something that would shock me.... hire an actual wrestler for TV!!! Seriously, she is a great talent and wonderful person and I hope that her future continues upwards with positive power.

As many of you know I recently returned to Hawaii for HCW and wrestled former WWE talent Traci Taylor. It was a pleasure working with her. She is another talented girl, as was Hikaru. I enjoyed wrestling in Hawaii and seeing my family. My roommates from NY were supposed to join me and I was looking forward to us all going, but at the last minute it turned into a solo trip. Because of this I was able to spend time with my family there, mostly my mom. It is rather odd how we change as we get older. When I was growing up you couldn't have gotten the 2 of us together for longer that 5 minutes before we would be fighting, but now that there is all this distance between us we are actually closer then ever. I was in Hawaii for 5 days and did not make it to the beach once. My mom was never the one to go to the beach so I did not ask her to go, we simply hung out a watched movies, shopped and talked. It feels a little weird to me because as I got ready to leave on my last day there, I was sad, honestly and truly sad, to be leaving her. I think about all the time we lived right down the road from one another and could never talk about anything yet in this 5 days we talked about everything--our health, my financial issues since becoming single and living on a lower budget, her volunteer work, the famlliy, my dad, brother, neice and nephew. True heart to hearts. I would have given anything to have had this growing up, even resented her at times because she never seemed to "get me". Now years later I am finding out who my mother is..... I know, I know, it could be a Lifetime Movie, but it still makes me wonder which of us did the changing. Well, until next month! Happy Birthday to Me, Evil Zebra and Brandi Wine!!!!

I am dedicating the site and this month's news update to the very talented people we have lost this last month. I am saddened and shocked by all that has happened and by eveything that has been said, posted and reported. I am appalled at the number of wrestlers who have had their chance in the limelight who have felt the need to come out and voice bitter opinions on various talk shows, newscasts and articles, blasting drugs and the WWE for things they themsleves have done and have chosen to do throughout their lives to get or keep a job. I am appalled at the poeple who have chosen to try to throw blame around for choices they made as if they had no control of anything and make it seem as if the WWE and higher powers forced them to take or do drugs.
While I have fumed and still cannot and will not watch the programming being broadcast surrounding the Benoits' tragedy, I have deliberated long and hard about everything that I have felt and thought these past weeks. I wanted to rant and rave, I wanted to write about it and my feelings. However, after much thought, I have finally decided to say only the following:

To Sheri:
You were my friend, my business acquaintance, a professional and a pleasure to work with and know. You wanted women in the wrestling world to succeed and always had hopes of women having a place here in the U.S. to wrestle and to be respected as athletes.

To Chris:
I pray that you will be forgiven and that you will find peace in death. I do not know what or why the things that occurred that day did, but I am heartbroken by the tragedy. I will remember you for the man I knew you to be and thank you for your contributions to the wrestling world and for the support you always had to for the women wrestlers. I hope that in the years to come that the fans and wrestling communtiy can also let go and remember the good about you.

I miss you all-Benoits and Sheri. You will live in my heart and I will speak of you with kindness and fond memories. I will hope that one day we will all be together again.

Well, another month has come and gone! Man this year is flying by! Hard for me to believe that I have been with Comair for a full year, but it has been great and now that I have learned the ins and outs of flying it is nice to be able to take bookings again.
I have enjoyed this last year with SHIMMER and am looking forward to the show in FL on July 1st. I have not wrestled in Inverness in quite some time and considering it is some of my old stomping grounds I am excited to be preforming there. I have also been extremely happy making my debut with WWW in the Northeast and working with those girls. There are so many talented and wonderful women in the biz these days, it gives hope for the future of women's wrestling.

On a sadder note, my prayers and sympathy to the close friends and family of Sherri Martel. It breaks my heart that we have lost such a wonderful talent from the biz. I pray that she finds the peace and happiness in death that she brought to life. I had the opportunity to work with her many times and it was not only and honor and a privlage, but a pleasure to have stepped into the ring with her each time.

Man oh man--Where to start and what to say this month. I have been so busy I haven't been able to tell if I am coming or going these days. All of my time lately has been either on a plane for my "real" job or on a plane getting to or from a show. Let's start with Happy Easter, Happy Mother's Day, Happy Father's Day... have I missed any? LOL

Now then, I would like to state that I am honestly braindead and not sure what to say this month. It has felt great being back in the ring again, but I in working with these younger girls I have learned how completely and totally out of shape I am. I knew I had put on weight and needed to diet, but I now know that I need to start doing cardio in a HUGE way. Unfortunately, I am a creature of habit and like to workout and go to the gym between 10 and 12.... impossible to do on a daily basis with this job. Is everyone sure that they aren't interested in the sugar daddy position?? lol

While I am sure you were all looking forward to another rant from the soapbox, I am afraid this is all I have for you this month.

This month’s news is going to find me climbing back on my Soapbox and may offend several people in the wrestling community.

There are certain realities in life. You have to work unless you are independently wealthy, you have to pay taxes, and you will have to die. Going off the reality of work, there are again certain realities to each and every job- you are going to have everyday expenses that WE ALL incur when it comes to life and our jobs. We all have the expense of transportation getting to and from work, we all have clothes that have to be purchased for work (unless your company provides uniforms), we all have to eat at some point in time during the day.

So why is it that female wrestlers think that the fans should front this money??! Why do they feel the need to go on the Internet and beg for someone to send them money to buy the things that our business calls for? This is not only tacky and unprofessional, it makes the industry as a whole seem cheap and trashy, it reflects badly on those who hold “real” jobs to support their careers as they follow their dreams, it reflects badly on the veterans who have worked hard to keep a place in the biz for the women.
Bottom line, if you are going to be in an industry that requires travel you need a Passport, if you are going to be in an entertainment industry you will need a second or sometimes third job to support yourself until you get a break. If you do not have the heart or determination to support yourself while persueing your dream then, why do you deserve to have success at it? Because you are good?? There is always someone better. Because you have fans willing to send you money, you shouldn’t have to work? Well, if they are spending their money supporting you outside of shows then why do you charge for merchandise? After all, they have already sent you money to help buy the pics, your gear, your Passport, money for your trans to get there, etc. etc. Why should they pay to get into the show??

If it weren’t for them you wouldn’t be there… OH! But wait, if it weren’t for the fans NONE of us would have a job to start with! They work hard for their money and if a fan should CHOOSE to send you money to help support you then feel blessed that you have evoked passion in that fan to the point that they are willing to donate their hard earned dough to help you even though they may never get to see you live or meet you or ever get anything out of it except the pleasure of knowing that it meant a great deal to have that type of loyalty and support from them.
And do not get me wrong, I have fans and friends in this biz who have been my saving grace when it came time to pay my bills. Their generosity not only touched my heart, but it humbled me to know that my career and efforts in wrestling are that respected and liked that they sent me money for no other reason than they wanted to help support me.
I feel blessed by each new member who joins this site and provides me with a little less of a financial burden each month and for every fan who has purchased merchandise or a custom match with me in it. I have had a great career, one of which I am proud, not because I made it to the WWE or overseas, but because I learned a craft that my fans respect and love and want to see. Because I have had a career thanks to my fans and not because of the WCW and WWE. While these promotions certainly helped expand my fan base, I had the support of the wresting community long before either company knew I existed.

So… to these girls who think the fans NEED TO/SHOULD send them money to help get things they need, I say go get a job! Go buy things at Goodwill, Wal-Mart, or whereever it is YOU can afford to shop until you get the money to have custom gear made or use the stuff you already own until you can afford new gear. Learn you craft from all available resources in your area until you get a big enough name or enough talent to have your trans and things paid for by the promoters in areas outside you local, or get yourself there because it is YOUR responsibility and STOP begging and disgracing a business that I love! STOP making the rest of us look bad. You knew when you decided to pursue this career it did not pay a lot to start off and that it was not an easy road to travel.

And to the fans listening to and reading their posts begging for money for this or that I say if you want, and I mean honestly and truly WANT to support this girl, then do so, but do it by buying tickets to shows that they are on, buy the SHIMMER DVD’s, buy a custom match or their merchandise. If you want to send them money because you just want to then by all means do that too, but PLEASE do not feel like you need to send a dollar here or there to someone who is begging for money to get things that are normal expenses of our business. DO NOT feel like you have to help them get these things because they are SO poor and pitiful, because what they are is LAZY! There are a lot of talented, beautiful women who are in the business and who have been in the biz who hold a job to support their careers. They are determined to make it, but willing to work to get there. They are deserving of not only my respect, but the loyalty of any wrestling fan.
Support them because they will be the future of wrestling.

Well, another month has come and gone! I hope that everyone had a great Valentine's Day and that St. Patrick's Day is happy and full of the luck of the Irish!
With this, March is looking up as far as appearances go. I have been able to accept a few bookings and have made contact with several of the girls located in the NE. I am hoping to be able to make appearances on shows in that area, allowing me to update the Members' Area with more current videos and pics.

I am adjusting to life in NY and slowing learning my way around though I really have not traveled outside of the 3 block area called Howard Beach, lol. I am thinking that I need to invest in a GPS system for my truck because I have already gotten lost a couple of times just drivng from the airport and my apartment. Yes, at times I give a whole new meaning to the term "blonde".
Here's another blonde moment for you: When I don't drive to the airport, I have to take this train from the airport to my crashpad/apartment in NY. This is a train that goes around the airport and to a few different places outside the airport like long term parking, the subway system, the employee lot, etc. Well... as it turns out, there are actually 3 different trains that run on this system! How do I know this you ask?? Because after a long trip and a trying day of flying I was on my way back to my crashpad and approximately an hour later I realized I was on the wrong train and was simply going in circles around the damn airport!!!! Yes, a stupid moment from one who continually stands on the soapbox for stupidity. Thank you, Thank you.

Happy New Year to everyone!!! I hope that you all had a great holiday season and a wonderful New Year. Here's to 2007 being the greatest for each of us!!

As many know I have been working as a flight attendant for Comair Airlines for the past several months. I have been based in Cincinnati, OH, however, as of Feb 1st, I am being transfered to JFK and will be relocating to the NY area. A part of me is really psyched as I will be in an area that has an abundance of wrestling shows and lots of very talented women to work with. Hopefully this move will allow for me to begin taking bookings again on a more regular basis and give the members a great update each month.
On the other hand, IT"S NY!!! Talk about being freaked about that!! I am a small town girl being thrown into the city. I am not looking forward to learning how to ride the subway system nor finding my way around the city. I mean really!! It can be very confusing and overwhelming for a girl who grew up in a town that didn't even have a traffic light, you know.

Sorry to have this month's news to be so short, but with my schedule getting as hectic as it is with the relocation and still working and blah blah blah. LOL!!

Anyway, love, hugs and kisses! Until next month!

Well, here we are, almost Christmas, almost to another New Year. I would like to express my thanks to all the members of the site--It has been great having each of you this past year and I am thankful for the support you have given me.
As we prepare for 2007, let’s reflect upon 2006. In this past year you have each stood beside me and shown me incredible loyalty as not only my fans, but in many cases my friends. Even though I have never personally met some of you, many of you and I have conversed via the Message Board or email. I hold all you dear to my heart and through my trials and tribulations this last year I have thanked God for all of you. I have changed careers, become single (again), looked for a Sugar Daddy (unsuccessfully I might add, lol), had the opportunity to join SHIMMER, formed a new tag team with Lexie, met some of wrestling’s future legends, had the pleasure of wrestling many I am proud to have stepped into the ring with and hope that when they are at their 20th year they will remember working with me with fondness and a smile.
I wish each you a Merry Christmas and a Happy and safe New Year. May 2007 fill each of us with the hope and joy of the season and carry us to the next phase of our lives. May we all find a little more kindness and love in those we meet, a little more consideration and thoughtfulness in those we cross lives with, and a smile in our hearts as well as in life.

That being said, I am now climbing up from the floor in front of the fireplace and stepping back onto my Soap Box. I am now going to get this off my chest about common sense and the lack thereof people seem to be exhibiting lately.
MEN!!!! WHY must you walk through public scratching and adjusting yourself???!! Do you think we like to see this? Do you think we want to shake your hand in greeting when you just got thru scratching your boys??
Next: Walking barefoot in public places like ummmm… an airplane! Going to the lav without your shoes on? What are YOU thinking???!!! Men can’t hit the toilet without peeing on the seat or floor when the bathroom isn’t subject to turbulence. Why do you think some woman came up with the idea to put a mat on the floor in front of the toilet?!? So why, oh in Heaven’s name, WHY would you walk barefoot or in your socks to the bathroom on the plane? G-R-O-S-S!!!!

Now then, women--you are not exempt…. Breast feeding is a natural part of life--I get this. I understand that the basic animal will feed its young no matter the surroundings. However, WE are NOT animals!
You are sitting in a public place, in front of complete strangers--someone who could become uncomfortable with seeing your breast plopped out for nursing? Can you not cover it in some way? You have a right to nurse your child, but if a man were to pull out his privates YOU would yell and scream about the impropriety of it. So why do you feel it is ok to make others uncomfortable and justify it by saying, “It’s perfectly natural and anyone who is uncomfortable is in the wrong.” I am not saying you cannot nurse your baby anytime. I am saying that while you feel it may be a natural way in life, that not all feel comfortable sitting next to a mom who is revealing her breast so the child can nurse… especially when you are a perfect stranger to them who may be single, young, old, conservative, whatever. Some common sense and courtesy would go a long way here, moms of the world.

Parents, in this holiday season and the traveling you will do, clean up after you kids! Why is it they make a mess at home you yell, scream, scold, etc., yet when you are in a restaurant or in a plane they can color the walls, throw food on the floor, put stickers everywhere, dump out the sugar, (get the picture?) and you leave it for someone else to clean up? Why does it become the job for the person who is taking care of you and your family?
If you are on a plane watch your children, don’t let them kick the back of the seat in front of you, put the tray table up and down, hit the tray, etc. THIS is the seat back of the person in front. It is annoying and aggravating especially if they are trying to rest. Maybe they flew in from miles away for a visit with family, maybe they have been in meetings trying to get work done before the holidays, whatever the case may be. Again, courtesy and common sense.
And while we are on the subject--Those things you have your arms on, they are called armrests. Try pushing yourself up from them when standing rather than grabbing the back of the seat in front of you. Again this is the back of the seat of the person sitting there trying to rest.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Love Hugs and Kisses!!

Again my best wishes to everyone for a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. And as we go into this holiday season let's all try to remember to be little kinder and a little more understanding as we travel, shop and socialize. And with regards to this subject, I am climbing back on my Soapbox to dare adults to act as such.
I have a very dear friend who is going thru a divorce and he has 2 beautiful girls whom he adores. All too often I hear of couples splitting and the kids becoming bargaining chips, property to hurt the other with... a way to inflict the pain that they themselves are feeling upon the other. Please remember they ARE NOT property, they are the product of what was the best part of the two of you and while you both want them and want to have them, they deserve to have you both: civil, loving, caring and equally. They deserve you not the other way around. After all just because you may no longer be able to stand the sight of your ex does not mean that they should be poisoned by your hurt to the point they begin you feed off your feelings about their other parent. No matter how lazy, no good, completely horrible of a person you think you ex may be, kids love unconditionally and they should be allowed to continue to do so. So unless your ex is a detriment to the safety of your child, be open minded and reasonable in making sure they know they can see the other anytime they need not just when the court and lawyers deem it to be suitable. There are times when a boy will need his dad and the mom cannot be the confidant and vice versa. Remember they are a product of love... you did not concieve and make them thru hate so do not lower them to the staus of weapons and ammunition to serve your purpose in your divorce/separation proceedings.

Now then, stepping off my Soapbox and into Commercial Land. Shimmer has hit retail outlets across the country. If you have already purchased your copy--Great! If not go get it at Target, Best Buy, etc. If you know of newsboards and messageboards, talk about it and get others to buy it for it will only benefit all the women wrestlers out there and the fans of women wrestlers. If Volume One does well the whole series will be released and perhaps the fans will have true women's wrestling back in a mainstream market and the women will have a place to work, be respected and marketed. If you know of a large business or company that does endorsements/sponsorships talk to them, talk Shimmer up and help the company out.

Lastly but definately not least, go to Slamminladies.com and keep up to date with my current matches, let them know if there is anything you want to see. Since my schedule has become such a crap shoot these (this site and SLAMminLadies) are virtually the only two places to really keep current and follow my career. In addition, if you live too far from where Shimmer is filmed or already have the DVDs I am on, Slamminladies.com has more current matches of me. (That's not to say the videos in my Members Area are not worthwhile, but I have filmed several times for Slamminladies.com in the last months).

Until, next month! Hugs and Kisses!

10/18/06

Well another month has come and gone and the Holiday Season is upon us once again. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving this month and that we all take the time this season to be thankful for our blessings.

In the Members Area this month one of our esteemed members and a dear friend asked me if I ever find it tiresome to be adored by the public/fans. And while I am not completely sure that I am adored by one and all, I never find it tiresome to have the support of my fans as well of the fans of wrestling.
I have said many times that without the fans I would have not have had such a great career or any career at all for that matter. For a great number of years promoters like Vince and the WWE, the NWA, and WCW did not even know I existed. Then, once they did, none of them seemed to think I was a marketable product or saw that “Star” quality in me. I am not bitter about this and while it may be a blow to my self-esteem/ego, I understand that there are those people who have that magnetism or presence about them that just leaps out and catches one’s attention. And then there are those whose lot in life will be to perform in a supporting role, which apparently is has been my role my whole career. Don’t get me wrong-I have loved every minute of my career… well, ok maybe not the heartbreaks I have suffered and the friendships that I have lost, but the fans, performing, learning, growing, traveling I would not trade a minute for any amount of money.

Do I wish I had been given more of an opportunity in any of my roles throughout my career? Are there decisions I would like to go back and re-think? Yes, we all have regrets in life for decisions we made and we would all like more opportunity extended to us in any career. I do not however regret my career in any way, nor the fans/wrestlers/promoters who have supported me and given me the opportunities I have had in life. I a grateful to have had 20 years in this dog-eat-dog world and thankful for the friends who remain strong in my life and the friendships/relationships I have either rekindled or formed anew. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to do something I have loved and looked forward to doing for the last 20 years and as I begin my new career with the airline industry I am again thankful that I have found a place in life that I look forward to being in and a job that I wake up happy to perform each day. I have already made new acquaintances and formed new friendships.
Now the challenge of balancing the wrestling in such an unpredictable schedule begins and if my fans will bear with me I am sure that I will eventually get it worked out so that I can again begin to accept bookings and come back to the ring on a more regular basis. Since I have flight benefits thru this job I am hoping to be able to perform in areas that I have not yet appeared because bringing me in to work will no longer entail the added expense of trans. If the members will continue to bear with me I am bound to get it together and have the Members Area grow... It’s simply a juggling act of time and money that I am trying to do.

I thank each of you who have supported me thru the last 20 years and look forward to what the future brings as we continue this crazy trek of my life. Until next month, hugs and kisses and Happy Thanksgiving!

XOXO

Hmmmm..... where to start... I am at a loss as what to even write this month, so many things have come in and out of my mind and have happened in the last 30 days. I guess I should first say thank you to the members who heard of the plane crash last month and emailed me to make sure I was OK. Amazing how when such tragic things happen you tend to find out who your friends, I mean true friends are. Out of the 19 years I have given and of all the aquaintainces/friends/fans/co-workers I have made over the years, only 2, yes 2, called me that day to ensure that I was not involved in the accident/death of Flight 5191 on Aug 27. I did have a couple of fans email me to be reassured that I was not on that plane.
I think the really sad part of this story is that both of the people who called me had not been in contact with me in several years. We had had an occasional phone call within the last year but not what I would call a close contact or relationship, at least not as close as I would have catagorized others in this last year. I did call a few people like EZ, Lexie and Josie to let them know that all was well, but it really shocked me when I had time to reflect on the situation and think about those who I considered close and to realize that they did not even think to see if I had been killed or harmed that day. Even now, weeks later, they still have not inquired about my mental state or how I am doing, or if I had any friends on that particular flight.

Now then, going on from there: I cannot believe the callousness of the traveling public. We were all saddened and affected by the reality of the danger invoved with working on airplanes. We reacted as a family who suffered a great loss and our hearts went out to not only those crew members whom we lost but to the friends and family of all those who were lost that day. Yet, on the very same day and in the weeks that followed, passengers boarded planes and made actual jokes about whether or not we would be on the right runway. The attitudes that people had and the audacity it took to make jokes about such a tragic event was without a doubt the most uncalled for and improper display of what I can only classify as stupidity.
Why on God's Green Earth would you even feel the need to make a joke about it??? You don't know who you are talking to or if they had friends/family on the plane. You don't know if there are other passengers who lost someone in the crash. After 19 years of the wrestling world I actually thought I had seen it all when it came to the world's jackasses.
I do understand that people are afraid to fly and that after all the speculation surrounding this accident there was a reason for passengers to be concerned and I mean legitmately concerned. But, c'mon! Those concerns should have been expressed prior to ever boarding the aircraft, not as a joke as they boarded!

Now then, on to something a little more, ummm..... cheerful?? It seems that my rant about men and my Sugar Daddy ruffled a few feathers and perked a few ears, lol. I have had several of you send your well wishes and advice on not giving up. Let me assure you that I have not totally given up, I may be taking a little break but that is all. I have also been asked what it is that I am truely looking for in a man. Well if I knew that perhaps I could order one up, lol.
Seriously though, I am not sure what it is that I want totally, except to say I want Gilbert (only Anne of Green Gables fans will understand that one). I want a someone who can fit all of me, my redneck/country side, the side of me that loves to travel, the part of me that loves wrestling, the side of me that wishes to see a Broadway play, enjoys hayrides as well as a tour of Central Park in December or riding motorcycles in the mountains. Someone who isn't afraid to be and knows how to be the guy romance novels are written about. The leading man in chick flicks are patterned after. I am tired of settling for someone who only enjoys part of my life. I want the guy who'll cross a crowded room just to give me a kiss because he's afraid that if he doesn't do it at that moment it'll be lost along with the love/life we could have had. Yes, it is sappy and unrealistic, but inquiring minds wanted to know so there it is, I want a man who is exactly that a man, romance and all.

Until next month! Hugs and Kisses!
PS: Don't forget to send my B-day presents!!!! ;-)

So, here I go on my Soapbox again!!! Man o' man does stupidity run rampant in society!!! As we all know I have a new job as a flight attendant, and as a part of that job I must interact with the passengers on a daily basis. Now do you all think that we ask you to remain seated with your seat belts fastened for the sake of hearing ourselves speak??? I mean, really, as soon as I get the words out of my mouth I hear the "click-click-click" of seatbelts being undone.

Next on the stupid list are the CEO's of major companies crying about the company's financial trouble/bankruptcy. They ask the workers to take paycuts, benefit cuts, pension cuts, etc etc. However, THEY are still making their 3.5 mil per year... Now here's a really wacky idea-- Why don't they take the pay cut??? After all, if they work for.. oh let's say... ummmm, 1 mil per year wouldn't that have more of an affect of tne company's finances than those of us barely making ends meet on our meager salaries?? How about they go down to an even more reasonable salary? OH wait!!! They might have to give up their Country Club and private golf course or actually fly commercial verses that private jet they have in their back yard.

I am sure that there have been a thousand and one other things that have pissed me off this month, but enough b**ching and on to more positive things in life. More positive like how much I am enjoying the new job (despite the stupidity, lol) and the fact that I am looking forward to getting back in the ring and wrestling again. I truely miss the performing and entertaining. I am also looking forward to getting back in the gym this month and dieting again. Members look for more current videos to be added in the coming months as well as your own scripted matches. Promoters check the appearance page as I am going to start listing my days off each month so if you are running shows and need someone, please check there. And fans, look for dvds to become available as well as other new merchadise.

Until next time hugs and kisses, besty wishes and don't forget I am still looking for that sugar daddy!!! LOL

First let me say how sorry I am that I did not have time to update the news last month. As many members already know (as do my friends in wrestling), I was in school for a new job/career as a flight attendant with Comair. I graduated and am now getting used to the schedule and adjusting to the new job.
It has made an impact on my ability to accept bookings as I only get my schedule mid-month for the following month. As if that isn't enough, being the "new kid" I am not guaranteed to get any days I request off so I kinda have to play things by ear. That being said, if anyone has a show or needs someone to work with last minute keep me in mind because chances are I won't be booked, lol.

I am currently working on a way to keep the Members Area from becoming too stale and on how to keep updates regular as my webmaster starts to run out of content since I am not currently booked anywhere. If any members have any ideas for the site please email me them and we'll discuss them.

Now then... MEN!!! You can't live with them and you can't kill them. Well, I guess you can but is jail time really any better than living with them?? Is it really too much for me to want my cake and to eat it too?? I have been involved with someone and recently we began having problems. Partly due to us being apart so much and partly because according to him I am childish, immature, needy, and blah, blah, blah.
I really don't think it is too much to ask to expect a 2-way street in a relationship-One that allows for give and take on both parts, one that allows for each other to have bad days and vent complaints, worries, stress, etc without the fear of being told that you are a miserable person or never happy, etc etc. That being said I am swearing off relationships.
I have decided that they are just not worth it. Instead I am going to look for an internet Sugardaddy! One who is content with sending the weekly checks, cash, money orders, or what have you to my PO Box, writing emails, chatting online, and perhaps (a VERY big perhaps) a meal every once in a while if I fly into his area (I absolutely love my new job and have no intention of quiting).

Hey, if I am going to be told that I am selfish and want everything my way then let me advertise that this is what I am looking for and if by some odd chance someone wants to step up and answer the ad then so be it. At least it is all here laid out in black and white for them and at least this way I don't have to worry about getting my heart broken by someone I cared for who feels the need to not only tear apart my heart but also my self-esteem.

AD: SWF looking for an internet Sugardaddy. One who is willing to send weekly monetary gifts for nothing more in return than an internet companionship thru emails and chat sessions. Interested parties need only respond via US Postal mail with monetary gift and email address for reply. Serious responses only, email responses will not be acknowledged

Well, it seems my last rant and rave about the chants of the male fans raised and ruffled a few feathers. So, for the record let me state, my email is: MaliaHosaka@excite.com
Please feel free to email me with anything you have questions or concerns about rather than posting and venting on message boards claiming I am talking out both sides of my face, especially message boards I rarely go to unless a friend happens to direct me to a post there. Second, let me state how narrow minded and far off the truth this person was in their post. Actually, I guess I should explain for everyone who did not see the post.

Apparently, I am two-faced due to the fact that I have a T-Shirt that says "tits and ass" and yet feel it is inappropriate for the male fans to chant things like "bras and panties" or "we want puppies" to the actual wrestlers busting their butts to be taken seriously. In addition, it was pointed out that I seem to forget that there are children at the shows at which I sell my T-shirts at... the same kids I mentioned in my last update as I criticized the male fans for forgetting when they are chanting the things I find to be rude.

So, taken out of context and simply taking the words and equating them with other words in the English language I can fully see this person's point. Except for the fact that both the saying on my shirt and my last vent run along the same lines. My shirt says "If you can't wrestle, Keep your Tits & Ass out of the ring!" My last vent said not to disrespect the girls who can wrestle and who have talent by chanting such things as "bras and panties" or "we want puppies" during their match. I am lost as to how this is talking out of both sides of my face.... If you CAN wrestle then by golly get in the ring and do so, learn the art and craft, grow and continue to entertain and carry on the tradition that my vets set before me. If, however, you CANNOT... see canNOT, then stay out of the ring and allow those who are serious about the sport and entertainment to do what they do best. If YOU wish to chant about puppies and under garments then do so during the matches that involve girls/models who are happy pretending to be wrestlers and have not the talent nor the inclination to learn to wrestle and NOT during a match where it is clear that the women are trained professional athletes trying their best to be taken seriously as the future of women's wrestling in a ring and era where fans are spoon fed the T&A being sold as wrestling today.

Next, this person wanted to attack or take to task my outfits??? The description you gave is of an older style, and it is clear that you have not kept up to date with my current look, however, this is neither here nor there. I never said that women wrestlers had to be ugly or covered from head to toe. Just because she may look sexy and appeal to the visual senses does not mean that she is a T&A show. It simply means that a sexy, vibrant women can actually have talent, be athletic and look great doing so. Have I ever fallen out of my suit on a regular basis??? No. Did I wear tights beneath my skimpy bottoms so that if they did move or ride up my bare butt I would remain covered?? Yes. Were my costumes completely inappropriate for the ring?? I don't think so, and if this person did then I am sorry. I think that there is a certain amount of sex appeal when it comes to women wrestlers, no matter the shape, size, nor costume. This is a vast world and what one person finds sexy another may not, but talent is talent no matter how it is dressed and talented women deserve respect and not the demeaning cheers fans would give to strippers or models who rip each other's clothes off.

Finally, my T-shirt is for sale on my website. I do not currently carry them to shows to sell, so the children are safe. If you wish to knock me for spelling out T&A and not abbreviating it on the shirt then by all means do so. If that makes me two-faced then so be it. At least I have have the guts to say this to you and not post on some message board anonymously. I hope that this is clear enough for this person to understand, and should anyone.......and I mean ANYONE wish to debate or reply to this then do so via email to me! At least have the guts to say it to me rather than try to trash me and my reputation on a board that I do not visit.

Well, another month of 2006 has come and gone. I have another compilation tape ready as well, and have a photo session scheduled for this coming week to have new studio pics done for the site. I will also be shooting the new pics for the comic to be updated this month, so things are beginning to move along. Finally! I really appreciate the patience everyone has had!!!

Now then, I am climbing back on my soap box this month. As I have put together these compilation tapes, I have had a chance to actually hear the comments of the male fan. This has lead me to actually tune into and listen to the cheering and chants that are often started at shows. Do you guys really think we women who ARE NOT "WWE Divas" appreciate the things you chant??? Here we are busting our butts to be respected in locker rooms by the guys, to be seen and booked as female atheletes, yet there you sit chanting "Bras and Panties" (clap, clap, clap), or "We want Puppies!" This is insulting to each of us who has strived to give true fans of women wrestling what they are so sadly missing from the companies that have TV coverage and the ability to portray women who are sexy and talented as the athletes they are, yet market them as the models they can be seen as.

Furthermore, there are more often than not children present in the audience. Should little girls be taught that this is reward for trying to achieve in a man's world??? C'mon, this is not the 1800's where women are to be barefoot and pregnant. Heck, even back then they were expected to help on the farms and in the fields as neccessary... I am sure they didn't get these chants from passer-bys! It is a great example to set for the young boys too! To show them that women aren't good for anything except sex... and men wonder why that is the first thing to leave a relationship!!!! Geese!

So the next time you sit at a show where the girls are busting their butts trying to perform for you and give you a great match in an already sucky business for women, try watching the story they are telling, the moves they are doing and cheer accordingly... if you cannot do this, then at least be politically correct and not encourage sexual harassment. Cheer "puppies" or " bras and panties" for the men as well. After all, they are doing the same type of match as we are and deserve the same lack of respect you seem to think we deserve.
Malia

In the lastest news, I would like to welcome all the new members and thank two very special members of the site, Mel and Todd. You both have expressed your support and we have debated and discussed many things this past month. I hope all of the other members will begin to chat and post their opinions and views on the message board as all are welcome to join any of the discussions.

I had taken new pics for the comic on the site, however my photogragher did not do a good job at capturing the images so I am back to the drawing board on that... Hopefully by the end of this month I will have a preview for everyone. Thankfully though I do have a new Compilation Tape for the merchandise area! Please take time to check it out. I am VERY electronically challenged though, so DVDs are still not available. My sincerest apologies but I promise I AM trying to learn more and get it together for you all!

On the homefront I am no longer employed in the "real world", lol. I am back to concentrating on wrestling full time again and getting back into the swing of life on the road. I am also beginning to concentrate on getting the IWWA back on track for the women. If anyone is interested in booking a show in their area please email me! In the meantime, I have set up several meetings for the month of April and May in order to get the company back up. I will continue to work with SHIMMER and have reached out to other all women's groups about working for them. I am back with the WLW at the end of the month and still planning on appearing with AWA Hawaii in May while attending my cousin's wedding. There is talk of the AWA crowning a new women's champion in the near future so I will definately be persuing that goal. In June, I am looking to go to the Cauliflower Alley club again.
So things are definitely looking up and I have found a re-newed interest in performing in the squared circle.

I would also like to express my congratulations to Lexie on her recent wedding and my best and dearest friend Syren on the upcoming birth of her son! I am extremely happy for both of you and wish you both the best that life has to offer.

Well.... that's about all I can think of for now, until next month ~ Hugs and kisses!
Malia

Well, another month has come and gone. I would like to welcome all the new members to the site and hope that you enjoy it! If you have any suggestions, please let me know and I will do my best to implement the changes. This site is for you all for supporting me for so long and I want you to enjoy it!

For my fans who have emailed me recently, please do not take offense if I have not replied. My schedule has gotten a little wacky and I am endeavoring to answer emails as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, my time online has become limited and I use the time to post first on my message board in the site then, answer interviews, then my emails. I am sorry for the delay, but I will answer you.

Now, then, as many of you know I made my debut with this past month and it was great! I have heard so much about these talented women, and it was a pleasure for me to finally meet them. I had a great time working with SHIMMER and look forward to being a part of this company! Finally, someone gets promoting the women as athletes and running angles and storylines, etc, etc! I hope the fans will continue to support the show locally and buy the dvds as they are released. Unlike many of the previous women's companies I have been a part of, the girls here seem to all get along and work together to get the company over rather than themselves. It was wonderful to sit in a lockerroom full of talent but without egos.

I hope everyone had a happy and safe New Year! In the news is my return to the WLW, Harley Race's promotion based in Eldon, MO. I have had the opportunity to face Josie, the current WLW Ladies Champion and a tough competitor. While I may not agree that she is the true title holder, she has held onto the belt so far with 2 victories over me this year. They were tough matches and I am sure she cheated to retain the title... she and the ref looked pretty friendly-- I think they were in it together!

I will face another newcomer, Lorelei Lee later this month and in March. She too has alot of talent and I look for her career to soar. She reminds me ALOT of Starla Saxton (aka Molly Holly) in the beginning of her career as far as her mannerisms and ring persona. I constantly have to remind myself that she is Lorelei and not Starla.
While I find it unfortunate that there is no place for the girls, I know that with the proper guidance and seasoning Lorelei will do well in paving the future of wrestling.

In the spirit of the New Year and new talent I am offering a special for the next month! I have decided to offer 1 month free membership to the site!
For everyone who joins during this month (January 17- Feb 17) I will give you a month's membership free. What's the catch you say??? Well, the only fine print is that your membership begin prior to the next update (Feb 17, as the site is always updated mid-month) and not end prior to 90 days after beginning membership. In other words, after a 90 day trial period I will give you one month free to kick around the idea of staying an ongoing member. This will come as a refund of the fourth month of membership so when you see a charge for that, please watch for the refund before thinking that we forgot!

Now then, one of my BIG pet peeves in life is that those who have been members/customers of a company/club for long periods of time always seem to be left out when specials like these are run. So, as a reward for each of you who have already joined and been members for a mininum of 6 months send me an email with your Username and upon verification I will refund you a month's membership fee back through Paypal. To qualify for this reward, you must include your Username and all requests must be emailed and received no later than then the date of the next update, Feb 18th!

12/05

I want to take this time to say Merry Christmas to everyone and I hope you have a safe and Happy New Year! Please remember to drink responsibly and not drink and drive. Starting the new year dead, in the hospital, or in jail is not much fun. That being said I hope each and everyone has a great New Year's!!!

I would also like to thank the members that have stuck around through the changes in the site and the changing of the webmasters! You all have been great and I hope that in 2006 the site and the membership will continue to grow. I have been speaking with a new guy about updating the Comic and have scheduled a photo shoot for new studio pics. Members, leave me a message on the board and let me know what "looks" you would like to see so I will have some ideas. I am also putting together a new compilation tape to be released in late Jan/early Feb. I have 3 new shirt designs in the works also. I am also planning on filming videos for the member's area with monthly updates, continual story lines, etc. However, patience is a virtue as all of my ideas and things will take time. Please bear with me and keep me posted on what you think of the site.

Now for the New Year, I will be kicking it off in Missouri for WLW. It has been great returning to such an awesome company and facing Josie... Man, what a talent! I will also be moving forward with the IWWA and working to get it off the ground and funded so that we may have regular shows. Keep your fingers crossed that the people that I have been dealing with pull together and make it happen. If it does it'll be great for everyone! If not, we'll try to re-group and start again, lol.
I am determined to help get a company (whether it's mine or not) together for the girls and to leave a place for them to work when I am ready to retire and for the fans to see all the talent out there.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Malia

11/05

The following in quotes is from an email that I received. I get questioned alot about women's wrestling and hear from both sides of the issue--those that see the talent and athleticism as the beauty and those who see the physical looks as the beauty of the sport.

"I was impressed by your web-site, particularly your comments about the state of women's wrestling at the moment and your opinions about the attitudes of promoters and fellow wrestlers. It seems to me that there has always been a clear divide between those who see female wrestlers as 'genuine athletes' or as 'eye candy'. But, where do you draw the line? What I'm trying to say is although clearly the WWE approach of 'T&A' is obviously cheapening the athletic side of women's wrestling. But this is an extreme approach: but, on the other hand, should lady wrestlers deliberately go to the other extreme - to avoid wearing 'provocative' outfits, not wear make-up, etc.?"

I believe that those in power should have the common sense to see the talent first and then visualize what could be made of the person underneath. When models become models they begin training and learning how to do their hair and makeup. They practice their poise and speech and how to look graceful and glide down a runway, or in freezing water, etc.
As wrestlers, those of us who have to work our way up and hope to get a break, we have to practice the moves, learn to protect not only ourselves but our opponents as well. We spend long hours in the training school, on the road, in the gym, etc. I was fortunate; I had the greats like Lei Lani Kai, Debbie Combs, Judy Martin to teach me along the way. They each helped me to learn the art of wrestling, to learn what it means to tell a story through moves and actions rather than having a microphone or a commentator to explain the story behind what is going on in the ring.
Ahhh, but these were also simpler times in life. We didn't have as much senseless violence among the young, it wasn't "cool" to be tattooed and pierced and run around with gangs, shooting people to be accepted. We didn't have our kids getting arrested for fights in school, parents parented more and kids didn't kill each other for making fun of one another.

So where to we draw the line on things? Does the change of ways make it right that the Powers That Be take models who have little to no interest in actually wrestling and giving them contracts to do so simply because they can make a calender or video to market?
Should those of us who want to be seen as athletes go out to the ring wearing conservative outfits and not bother to do our hair and makeup to prove the point that we are talented and athletic?
I think that there is a happy medium for all. I think that with the types of surgery the women in wrestling are getting anyone can be made to look like a model. Look at Chyna after all--no offense to any of her fans, but she looked very manly when she debuted and by the end of her run she had had so much surgery I am surprised she could recognize herself. No, I am not advocating surgery and the physical alteration of anyone for a job, but if one is truly talented and someone should guide that person in looks and mannerisms and help to "Make over" the wrestler then really, how much harder can that be then trying to take a model who hates aches and pains and has no love or desire for the sport and make her a wrestler? I believe that all the girls on the various circuits have a duty to their fans to look the best they know how to each and every time they go to the ring. This includes everything from their "gimmick" or "costume" to their hair and makeup. The fans deserve to be shown a star for a star is what they paid to see. They deserve to see talent within every match, not just the guys' and a catfight for the women's. We are the celebrities of the wrestling world and no matter the level we should conduct ourselves accordingly.

Malia

What to vent about this month..... I am actually at a loss. There have been SO many stupid, ironic things that happened in the last month that where to begin is the problem. For instance.... I have a real issue with Jessica Simpson protraying Daisy Duke in the movie version of "The Dukes of Hazzard". The producers just killed one of my fave childhood memroies! After all, Catherine Bach's character was not by any means a bimbo or air-headed blonde-That character was down to earth sexy with a country girl attitude of getting just as rough and rowdy as the boys but also remaing a female. I am so incredibly disappointed in the remake of the TV show. Next, I stopped to get gas at a 7-11 a few weeks back. My credit card could not be read by the little reader thing on the pump (as I use it entirely too much, lol), so I went inside and was told by the clerk that she could not key the number in as it might have been a stolen card! Now, I ask you, if I swipe a stolen card and buy gas does that make it any less stolen than if the clerk enters the card and I buy the gas??? Then, just the other day I saw a bumper sticker that said "You cannot be pro-choice & catholic." Now WTF is that all about?? Just because you are a religious person and go to church and practice your faith it means that you HAVE TO agree with all of its beliefs and teachings?? When did God dictate that we were not permitted to question the teachings of our priests and preachers?? I mean I know we are not supposed to question God, but they are only representatives of His word and His teachings and not above or exempt from their own values and prejudices when interpreting His word. Now before I begin to get emails citing the Bible-- Yes I know that the Bible teaches abortion to be a sin. I am not questioning what the Bible does and does not say. I am questioning the narrow-minded view of this bumper sticker to state that you cannot claim to be of the catholic faith if you believe that women have a right to chose. We were born with free will, it is the beauty and downfall of life. It's something we were given and while we may not all use that will in the best interests of our brothers and sisters, we do have it. Finally, I was listening to the radio and a DJ said that she wanted thank Allison Crouse and Brad Paisley for introducing her 7 year old to a trigger and that they should have to explain to her what the trigger is (for those of you not familiar with the song I am refering to it is a country song called "Whiskey Lullaby"). Since when is it so hard to be a parent and explain to your child what a gun is and how it works and how dangerous they are? Perhaps if parents quit looking for everyone else to take responsiblity and started parenting again society would begin to have respect and dignity again. Now, the next issue is that her child is only seven and she shouldn't know about guns... WHY??? I learned about guns at a very early age and learned to respect them and to handle them with care. I also learned that they were dangerous and that they should never be pointed at people and not to handle them without adult supervision. In today's society where you have grade schoolers walking thru metal detectors for the safety of the staff and others children, why would you not want to educate your child about the dangers around them and what to do when presented with the peer pressure of not telling? Whew! I will step of my soap box now. Until next time.... Malia

One of the other girls sent me this in an email, I just thought it was nice. Not sure who wrote it, but I thought I would share it this month as a way of saying thanks to all that have come and gone in my life.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But...only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway), and put what you have learned to use in all of their relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life. May God hold you in the palm of His hand and Angels watch over you!

A Test of Friendship....

As we travel down this path we call life we will meet many friends and make many enemies, but how do we know the truth to the category of each? I have made many aquaintances thru the years and often call them friends, though that is using the term loosely.
When I sit and think about it I am often saddened by the memories of those who I believed to be true friends and those who I had believed would be by my side thru thick and thin, in or out of the wrestling world.... I have lost a piece of myself with each of these lost friends. I was recently tested in my faithfulness of friendship as I was wronged by this person and my feelings hurt at their inconsiderateness ( is that even a word?, lol).
Yet I had a choice to make: 1. Get mad at them and end the friendship, or 2. Forgive and forget and allow them their opinion. I of course chose the latter, and agreed that they did what they felt was right for them and even though I felt she should have taken my feelings into consideration on the matter, I had to allow her to make her decision and understand that while it hurt me, it was her choice on the topic.

This is a true test of friendship, and not so long a go I probably would have taken another path and lost someone very dear to me. In fact, not so long ago I could have cared less about any of the new girls in the biz. I felt very bitter and hurt by what I deemed to be their unfaithfulnees to each other and for not standing up for what was right for all of us and banding together to create a future for women in the biz.

While I still believe there is a long hard road ahead of us female wrestlers and that we need to stand together to get back our right to be seen and protrayed as athletes of all shapes and sizes, I have grown wiser and more flexible with the "new ways" of the business today. I am thankful for the friends I have in the business today as it seems that each of us are so busy trying to get ahead we forget those who have helped and supported us along the way, and whether it be a lifetime of working together or a chance meeting in the ring, we are all intertwined as a family.

As with all families there are the ones who need intervention or excommunication so they will not continue to hurt the reputation/image of the rest of us, but for the most part I have found that there are some really talented and respectful rookies coming up. It has once again given me hope that the next generation will continue what their veterans have started and that they will strive to uphold the standards if not elevate them in what they will expect fom their rookies. I am comptemplating retirement as I have begun to find my mind wandering to other places as I sit in the locker room. I have loved my time in the business and cherish each and every fan who has helped me keep this job.

But, for now I want to thank those who have become my friends and who have helped me in my career:
EZ & Syren-- My PMA buddies--What more can I say than I love you both and would give my life for either of you.
Penelope Paradise-- Though we are not friends or even aquaintances any more I still must thank her for the years we worked together. We were both green and learned together, she helped me gain the confidence I needed to go to the ring in my early years.
Luna Vachon-- You taught me to take every crazy "bump" there was, you were/are my road mom, my friend. You were the 5th match of my career and I have enjoyed every match since then.
Lexie-- We have not always seen eye to eye, but the last match we had at !BANG! was the best I have ever had with you. I am proud to work with SlamminLadies and you--Thank you. I hope that together we may find a way to get a company for the women going strong and leave a place for them to work.
LeiLani Kai & Judy Martin-- These two taught me to "work." They took this scared little green girl under their wings at LPWA and taught me the way a match was supposed to go.
Bambi-- A friend thru the years, as my partner and my role model. You showed me how to "make a comeback" and have the fire and energy the fans deserve.
Debbie Combs-- You taught me to stand up for myself and not to be afraid of losing a job because of my opinions. You taught me to stay true to myself and stand for what is right and what I believe in. It was with you that I finally got it, I finally understood the psychology, the when, where, and whys of the ring. It was with you that I finally stopped questioning myself and my abilities and believed in myself.

There are many more who have influenced me and my career thru the years, but those named here were all turning points in my growth and life. I feel very blessed and thankful to have had the opportunity to know each of you.

It seems that I have a reputation of being the "True Heel" of the business, lol. I have been told recently that the rookies are claiming that I carry knives, razors, etc to the ring for the sole purpose of hurting them due to my jealousy. Apparently I am an angry veteran that is bitter about never having "gone anywhere" in the biz. So from my fingers to your brain and hopefully nothing will be lost in the translation, let me set the record straight.

I have NEVER, and I do mean NEVER intentionally hurt any girl in the ring. In fact, I am probably one of the most professional girls a rookie can ever hope to get in the ring with. I care about the fans and the art of the sport and love to teach and help those willing to listen and learn. Have I made mistakes??? Of course, but haven't we all? I recently made a bad decision that cost me a very good friend and while I am hoping she will forgive me I realize that it was my mistake. What was the mistake? Let's just say not practicing what I preached when it came to her.

I want the girls to stand together-to be a family, but not just any family. I want them to be one that has respect and you cannot get that by doing private matches in some hotel room. We have to work hard to be seen for out talent and not the talent of being on our knees or the flats of our back. Too often today we are looked at as eye candy and not as wrestlers. Female wreslters have always had to work harder than the guys to prove their worth as men are the ones booking the shows and the "boys" feel we take a job away from a more deserving guy. Heck, when I was at WWE I was told by a road agent that we didn't need to wrestle because there were men to do that. I have been told by people in the fromer WCW office that no one cares if the women are wrestlers or not.... this isn't a new battle, but it is one we are losing due to the lack of solidarity.

So many girls today will do anything for the money that they do not stop to think of the credibility or lack thereof it brings to the rest of us. So if I state my opinion about their actions and you disagree then so be it, but it doesn't make me a Heel to stand for what I believe in; At least I have the courage to take a stand. I want my voice heard and want to look back at my career and my life with dignity and pride. I try not to spread rumors about others, but I am guilty of spreading facts about people that I may not care for. But if asked I also have the guts to say "Yes I said that and that is how I feel." I can distinguish between business and personal, I can not like someone yet respect their work and I can not like someone's work yet think they are a great person. I can leave my personal feelings at the door and work to give the fans what they deserve when I go to the ring.

So like me or not, agree with me or not, but stand for what you believe in, have the guts to state your opinion, and the ability to open your mind and form your own opinions about people when you meet them without the prejudice of the rumors you may have heard and the opinions of your friends/co-workers. Be strong enough to disagree with your friends and to admit when they or you may have been wrong about a person, but get to know someone before closing the door based on rumors.

Well, it certainly has been a while since my last update and so much has happened yet so little has actually changed. I do have a new webmaster(s) and I am more confident than ever in their ability to keep the site updated and new. I will be spending as much time as possible working on keeping the news and message board up to date and with keeping up the appearances area as well. Now then since my last venting.....

I have a “real” job finally, working for a general contractor and learning the commercial and residential aspects of building. I stay very busy all day and it makes the time go by fast, but most of the work is on the computer so by the end of the day I am usually sick of typing and thinking. Hmmm.... going to have to figure out how to keep fresh ideas in me for updates (lol)--hadn’t thought of that until just now.
I have also registered to go back to school to learn medical transcription. I am hoping to work form home and be able to get back into wrestling a little more. I miss the ring and being on the road and have actually met some awesome people recently. I went to Alaska and back for AFE since my last update. I wrestled Syren and Brandi Wine in a 3-way match for the shows. The military was great as always and Alaska was beautiful. We did 3 shows and I think Syren won all but one. Barbarian was on the tour as well as the Jersey Devil. The WWA was the promotion as normal and we went to Fairbanks, Anchorage and Kodiak. One of the days we went to the North Pole and met Santa and saw the reindeer! Syren, Brandi and I all sat on Santa’s lap. If I can ever find the film I will have the pics posted in the Members’ Area too.

I am still in the process of moving! I have had serval house deals fall thru and am seriously considering living in a tent! I honestly believe Mortgage Brokers may be more crooked than Used Car Salesmen! How they can look you in the face and lie I will never understand.
I know what you are all thinking... aren’t you used to being lied to, after all I’ve been in wrestling for nearly 18 years. But really now--they will flat out lie!! Tell you your payments will be one thing then when it comes time to sign the loan papers it’s jacked up $200-300!! Geesh! No one told me there were dues to pay when buying a house too. Anyway, I am hoping to find something soon so that I can get all my stuff out of storage and live like a real person again. Until then, I am staying with family, so if you order merchandise from the site, please be patient as I may need time to dig thru my storage unit to locate it to send to you.

That’s all for now, but I will write more again soon I promise! In the meantime, take care and keep checking back with the site. If you are a member, drop me a line on the Message Board!

Love ya!!!
Malia

Malia